some days are better than others

okay,

its been a while since i have written.  there has not been that much that has been going on.  yes, some days are better than others.  i feel like i can do tons of stuff and there are others that the pain in my toes is just unbearable.  i am so not into taking pain pills that i just live with it.  i had a really bad stomach pains this wee that i don't want to do anything.

  i don't want to use the wheelchair, but this weekend, it seems like it would be so much easier for dave.  plus he would bring the "seated" cane for him since he has been not moving so well these days.

medically, things are okay.  i went to the surgeon this week, and he even said that the biopsy that i had was not in a lymph node, but most likely in a fibroma.  that is why the pain was so bad when the fine needle aspiration was done.  because of the lab results (undetectable tumor readings), he thinks the cancer is not there. but to make sure, he is doing an mri,  it sucks, but ya know he is right, better be sure than sorry.  i just could handle the cancer by itself, but not so much so for the ms added in.  like i said, there are really good days when i can do a ton at the gym, and others when all i want is to stay in bed. 

the volunteer gig is no more for me.  i just hate when i go somewhere and they assume that i will be there.  a couple of phone calls to me would be nice. it just feels like i am being used.  plus their power and phone/internet are  going to be shut off for lack of payment.  nope.. i would rather be home watching crap on tv and playing my fb games at home.....     especially when there is no chance that it was going to become a paying gig -- not only for me, but for the folks that really have a job there.... they hadn't gotten paid in almost a year.  time for me to do my own thing.    and look for work that i would really enjoy....